Saturday, December 17, 2011

#Poem - Empty Days

Friday, October 28, 2011

Femme in Brand

In biscuit pack...
In nougat pack...

Many food product use the creator name in their own product. But when it is not enough, they feel the face image branding is good way. Take a look those two pictures above. Both showing classic look a like lady, shows in the product, with typical way of pose. But it  will be memorable and easily identified by the customer to remember the product. If the product quality is good, taste yum, people will always remember the lady face. No matter how classic their style is:D The brand is the lady its self.

The typical for this brand image is:
Be classic: The pose, the color choices and clothes
Be Young : It shows  how long is the product has last, the younger of the image, the longer the product has been selling
Be Happpy : Don't sell the awkward pose ! The character should smiling no matter how classic:D
Be Different : Put the maker original name, complete full name, but it should be different from other product.

Then I remember my grandma who can make many good yummy cookies . Will she accept if later I put her face on the pack , if I sell her creation? Peace yo Nek...I am joking.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I was planning. But I can not decide, when it will happen. Its about another resolution to be able to get back my brain in sharpen way. Curious, the basic value that I have to be able sustain in this situation right know. After the curious with child's world, happy in my own childhood, little bit obsessed with my childhood, now it became a value. The curious will never stop, the needs to know every second about these young and new human.Freshness of their spirit. It became my own curious and value.

Move on. I think being curious its not enough, but should have some plan and ideas build inside. Yes, inside of a human, what you can find? It is beyond the flash and meat or even tiny second of cells. It is a soul, spirit and power which can be controlled and uncontrolled. Depend on the human manage it. Since human, not that simple, curious of a child , to a child, has moved me to wider aspects, bigger view in to humanistic side.
I was happy when I saw the detective works, how he solve problems to helps human and use other human. I was interest how war was painful and leaved some traces of scars for human and society. I was happy seeing Doraemon move from one side of world to another world , by truly magic, which is absurd and so foolish. And those movie experience, complete me to grow me in to 'older' mindset. Still with some foolish and ridiculous side in my brain.
A friend, many friends, thinks I am older than my age, because the way I am thinking and solving problems. I just realize, this answering my own inside , why I can be wise and good listener, beneath my foolish. What make this skills growing well. Is it because my circular friends? Is it because my choices of reading or movie? Is it talent? But this situation, somehow carrying me into a mature side. Which lead me to get indepth with the world of human and psychology. I am very and always interest with those two topics. I was deeper with human in culture, through Japanese. Now, soon, insha Allah, I am going further to the character of human. Somehow, the universe or law attraction, or whatever they name it, but I called the destiny , have been set  me in. I get in my own scenario of dreaming. Since many years ago I was interest in psychology, I had choose-accidentally- to be shrink, as my aunt was asking what college I would take. I was answering Pshychology. But then it is not happen that simple. But now, more than anything, I am very close with my surround and environment, and my choice and my faith, I am going learn it.

Masha allah. ALLAH make it simple. My dad just say easily, back me up easily to support me back to the school. I feel so surprised. Never expect it will happen this soon. When I was planning to another step, but got no good result after working it hard, I get another plan to do. Like the working plan B after the failed of Plan A.Wonderful surprise!

"What's on your mind, that's what you are!"

Saturday, October 01, 2011


My eyes need some sleep. My breath needs some interval. My head need some blank memory. Not really into something to do anything. The energy has been pumped out. But it just not ending. The man come and seeing all my works. a word from him.


the word said out loud in high tone. His eyes stared me. I didn't care. You supposed to be care my process during made this work happen. I spend nights without sleep well! Lack of food, many coffee! No hangout and stressed during weeks. Then I take out from that room. Its ended. Hell!!!

In sudden my mood to work collapse. I just sat in front of pc. Doing nothing but twittering my boss. All about his personality and negativity. The way he laugh, the way he stare, the way he even put finger tip on a touch screen.

In an hour, I received  email, said I should make new one. I did twittering during the hour. I enjoyed the comments from my fiends. He just not my boss. But I was confused.In email,  he added some clue how to make work better. But why he said I was fool.
Then my finger keep twittering ... the replies getting wild...Oops, I did forget, my boss still my followerGa. Devilish. I let this happened. Let him know, that he fool enough to said fool to me.

I saw him. In empty road. I didn't want to know anything about him at all. But then a friend of mine, who stand beside me waving on him. I got smacked. Then I should packed.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

See you soon

4 pm. The rushing hour. Many deadlines. The rush for the work? No. Hope to see you. Soon.In the next couple hour forward. But whole this jobs and tasks should describe in one word : DONE. Can I? While my energy have only last minute. Maybe if I could translate it in mobile phone energy, it's just one half bar last. I just keep moving. I don't have no more option but to this. I now, I want to see you. But daily, I responsible to this whole tasks. I finally try to pump up my last energy.

Circle K. A simple convenient store. Sell the best drink in the world: Milo! Yeay. In between my hopeless, my lateness and my regret... It is very cheerful to have a big cup of Milo. Still out of the CK, my mind stuck. With you. Only you, how  should I met you. Once again I couldn't see you. We are so different. In time line, in needs priority. I was in the rush to see you. I was pondering to be able share my whole day with you. Then? None of it , I felt it from you. Ow is it just me that such feeling. It is to see you. I just want to see you. My Milo finished in wrap of minutes. Then Paramore song come to cheer me. After this afternoon pass by, I should walk again. Maybe you just not for me.

In the next morning.. I found YOU! It is a best gift. You are in my pray. How could? You. In a package of two tickets of Maher Zain concert. Its wonderful life. I see you, with my loving artist. The next big thing was your smiley in my messenger. Soon. Allah answer everything that we want that soon. I believe something more than this!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Workin The Way

I don't understand much
But I do feel right

I don't need much
But I do get some

I don't ask much
But I get more

A happy day is when you have all in one time, what you want, what you dream about, what you fight for. Is like heaven on earth isn't  it? It will never happen... Or might happen later on in the real heaven. Sometimes, many times we just have to cry out then get what we want. We pressed the eyes to pop the tears, we waste effort to have result. Once again , is it what we should believe in?about the results?NO.

One time I cried... with thousands regrets  mistakes. I was begging for the mercy from the Creator. Hope all my sins will fade away. It won't. It just written that clear. But Allah give me the way how to erase, how to fix. The word is how .... not what to erase. Means... the process is much more important than the results. Results are good. But How is the form of "Mechanism-WORK". And a human literally consider as human by work, effort and thinking. That's what make human honorable than the other creature.

So let's think.... how to, how to how to... better than what will I get?
 relax.... Heaven is not cheap. Is expensive as expensive the effort to have it.

" longing for the best effort, with heavenly on earth reward "
about my heart in between some paths

Saturday, September 17, 2011


One day, you just had a life full of tasks. Need to do a to z. But get only less time. I had it, recently. Oh dear, it nearly killed my mood. I uneasy to enjoy sleep, or simple food. Then if this happen, what could I do? I can't stop. Stop is just making worst the tiring situation. I walk, slowly. Paused for a while. Step in to the room, block any social needs then break down with my self. Don't want to waste my learning time, I also keep writing what I feel. Even a simple thing. It might lead to a good story-as if I need novel brainstorm-.Then watching my self lying on bed.. How could? Just a simple stress released.

I discover some people need shopping to run away from reality sucks.  Some likes to holiday. They just lucky could run away that fancy -_-" Some eat and feed self more ;D not my choice. It would make my tummy even larger than life ---hiperbolistic here.Some just release them self in toxic-drug-smoke. Definitely no. That a bullet that killed slowly.

Run to get back. Run away is not the choice. Run to have break and some air. Run is good for health and extra power. But not to hide and instant shortcut. But be careful with your speed, it control by your breath. The goal is in front ahead, but to manage the speed and breath is important. The speed is like motivation, breath, as amunition is the pray, that should filled in every run.

Run....with me  baby?

Friday, September 09, 2011

Its damn difficult. Let's try to be the best. Do the right thing after messed up things. The rest Allah let do it. I will try my best.

Like I know what will happen after all this, but the believe , faith will always in my heart. Mistakes is needed to be the experience. So I will learn. So lets do some song to keep hold on. I will make it true.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Walk !

 Sandal that I took trip with... Yeah its landed in Karimun Jawa beach!

Geta, japanese clog that I wore in my friends wedding with her Japanese husband.

"What ever your technology, what ever your hair color, you need to walk with one of those sandal above whenever you feel in love with nature or culture"

Military Speaking

I was in line of queue in bank. Try to save my time by reading book than I come over to the teller desk. 396, that my number the teller had told. But after I wait behind the teller, come another man to wait also. It silly, we have the same number, which there is only one machine printed out. But both our ticket are same. The teller begin panic , she asked me to loose my turn over him, but the man said "how possible you skip a number? If in Changi Airport you should be missed... This country needs military touch.." . The man kept saying even tough the teller already overcome the situation, by handling both of us.

No body's fault. Its mistake. Waiting inline no one like it. So be respectful to the customer by quick action and doing the to handle situation in keep cold. Tough some people is always be reactive instead of ACTIVE. Such annoying for me, he talk keep talking after the teller serve him, yes his protest is accepted, but could you see the teller try to comfort you. I might be luck don't heard the man said loud and high tone. I must be become contra with him if he did it.

To control ourself to be not to reactive sometimes its hard. I did have high tone when I called a waitress in quiet customer restaurant because they make us wait until 10 minutes to be served. And we were hungry at that time. Control our self is just the biggest lesson everyday, not to be burst out or too impulsive like fireworks:P
 It takes military discpline for our self, military speaking : obey the rule- to get in control.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


We , girls , love to buy same things based on personality. Seems it just ordinary watch, but when we put it together, time seems timeless as we share the time. In this picture, my rempong(hectic panic) girls:)
Thanks for fulfilled my life, being with you girls is timeless!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Last Man Standing

Couple more hours... the 1432 years of Islamic Lunar Month of Ramadhan will go. As usual, how the world goes without Ramadhan. Still mad world. Still the old world without some changes. Let me make the change. At last for my self. Last year Ramadhan, I had the lessons, today's Ramadhan, I earned bigger lessons. Each year in my Ramadhan, it will make progress. It will make my heart melt and realize how human is nothing without the fear to the creator.

Last hours in this Ramadhan, I get the chances, in life: big jobs, solid friends, unforgettable moments, closer life to be in love with Allah's grace and many more. I believe, the spirit to have good deeds in Ramadhan, I will always try to keep. I want to be the last man standing, through all the struggling, keep the good deeds in Ramadhan, do it in every time of my life pass by.

When we don't know in what second we will stop living, in what day we will stop breathing, in what situation will we have in our life, all we can do be the best last man that standing in his own life. Time is killing, so we should rushing to doing all the best. Don't think about the ending, Allah see the process, how we struggling, till our last standing. Ramadhan is our field to step in to the next month of fighting.Amin

Thursday, August 25, 2011


It was tiring... whole day tiring. But today the reward being honest to the feeling and sincerity seems enlighten the Ramadhan. Tough it is hard Ramadhan, no so perfect Ramadhan, but the applicative action as a muslim revealing many surprises. Nothing can compete to a stronger person, stronger in faith, stronger in believing, stronger in moving forward no matter how hard life will be..

I can smile in the middle of hectic and problem, I can hear  caring person, truthful person and enlighten facts in life. Don't mind yesterday trouble, or next days forward surprises. It may un-comfort , it could be painful, but there always balance episode within the awful: happy time.

This happy time is recharging to stand back, refreshing to memorize only the happiness, rebuilding the mind shape to be always positive.
Remember +  and  + = +, while - + - = negative.

So empower your energy trough the positive attitude:))

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Hari Ramadhan dengan Kejutan

Lebay? Tidak. Ramadhan yang penuh berkah. Selalu memiliki hikmah. Apapun yang terjadi saat Ramadhan, selalu berkah. Apalagi bisa berujar syukur atas kesulitan. Allah berjanji, dalam kesulitan akan ada kemudahan, dalam kemudahan ada kesulitan. Kesulitan dalam Ramadhan yang penuh berkah, untuk kali ini, menahan sabar. Memperbanyak istigfhar, memenuhi ruang sempit Ramadhan yang sesak karena beban rutinitas. Sabar memperbaiki diri.
Kenapa satu hari di Ramadhan ini yang penuh kejutan . Sepertinya Ramadhan selalu jadi ajang pembelajaran. Selalu ada saja, peristiwa yang bergelimpangan tanpa prasangka. Begitu saja datang.. Berkali kali kejutan membuat sebel atau membuat bahagia datang. Beriringan antara kemudahan dan kesusahan.Ya Rabb, ini pelajaran terbaru yah... Mudah-mudahan jadi lebih berguna, jadi lebih bermakna.
Berita baik atau buruk, fakta atau rekayasa, harus dipilah supaya dirangkai indah di kepala.Selalu bersemangat tetap pada pilihan yang diberkahi.
Mari mengenang 23 Agustus 2011.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Send a Life

The arrival time will come
the merrier crowd will stop
as the blank spot is find its hope
to catch some memories in life

go get life before it pop up
closer to dead atmosphere
live among the eternal prayer
walking side by side near the river of history

if later you see no more doors open
when the dark is coming through to you
do not be sad
neither afraid
because the joy, pray and bless will always be with you
to send the life after the death
made by your own kingdom of Noor and good deeds

"reflection to remind my self  how long will we stay in grave before the judgment day"

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Happiness Etc

happy mean you are good with your life

happy is not money or property

happy is smile sincerely

happy is you leave all the problem not create new trouble

happy is fasten your seat belt in roller coaster, safe journey

happy bring ut the light in you

calm your anger

stand up after lose

believe every mistake taken by a winner

climb up the mountain of eternal life after

those are my happiness

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

On the Bench, Under the Tree

Could you just sit here
Listening to what I say
Laughing at my fool
Thinking of my ideas
Supporting my hope

Please do not walk away
Sharing the toughts
Revealing all secrets
Planting those dream
Building similar wishes

Hear me,
Don't kill me with the blind and silent
Ask me,
Don't wait for me in awkward timeless
Do me a favor
Come in to me

I believe in the time
Where I state I am in love with
Because I am ready to take all
Even the tears or laughter
Together, forever


jiwa ini rapuh
bagai daun yang akan jatuh mati
seketika pun dapat meletup-letup menghebat
kadang melemah juga terkapar
bagaimana kuhadapi
telaga dalam sanubari
kadang kulihat kejujuran baik sebening kaca
bisa juga kusaksikan topeng-topeng kaca nan indah
jiwa yang rapuh
semudah angin bertiup ke arah manapun
seringan debu berterbangan di semua persinggahan
ku mohon
berikan kekuatan diri yang akan selalu kokoh
ku mohon
biarkan jiwa ini bercahaya
bersih memancarkan keIlahian yang terpupuk rapi
jiwa yang selalu mengembara mencari

 Taken from Oldies Friendsters Blog
This entry was posted on Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 at 9:31 pm and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed. Edit this entry

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Deep inside, I know where I will land my old time. Deep down in my heart, I know who should I thanked to about what happen today in my life. Seriously I am grateful for anything that happen everyday. Bad day, worst day is just day, its my life. Deeply I know I create my life, with Allah's will. No one could change our destiny but us.

Trust your life, it won't ended in sad drama scene. Because you build your life every night in your dream and you publish it every morning you wake up. It is more than a morning glory or night scene. It is your life. Where later there will always a judgment what had you filled your life with.

Share forever, dream forever, gain forever and you will never be lost forever, in your life.

"the moment I am thank you to Allah for the surprises today. I wish, I am grateful"


My dream scene, seems need to be noted.

Its crowded. Seems a  birthday party. With many socialite people but stand in same level because of the person. I don't know much about the person. I do impressed bit  because the work this person do. I couldn't reach the person during the party, just enjoy the food, story about it. Where is it? Familiar place, with unknown place. But the star in the party was happy I am present tough I am bit neglected.

I am talking too much with other guests ---might be because my work. But again this party made me know about the level in life. I am not their level, I just part of the party host life.
Then I leave the party, with many stories to be written as usual. I am learning again.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Ocean

First time in my mind to imagine backpacking as solo traveler. I am gonna do it. I desperately want to have some date with shark. Honestly, I miss the ocean...............

Blindly walk
Through the  path as in the park
brightest light
bring up some cool sight

freeze in seeing
breeze in smelling
mix up like no other

the waving coconut tree
the parking silently turtle
the touching wind

let me tell you about the ocean
how its beautiful as heaven
calm like the warm night
surprising as the rain in the sun
just leave the earth
fly your life to the ocean

Friday, June 10, 2011

My (not) Simple Happiness

Zzzzzuitzwit.... planning, then zwwitzwit changing ffiuh...The plan for that changing, but not the results.

Me and my friends made breakthrough within a week plan. Its not perfect, really awful but it was challenging  experience that we made trip with 13 special children, ride in angkot (google it!) in hot sunny day(27 degree Celcius) to a clinic. Masha Allah, they moved all around, they showed their bright orange cloth ----just like Jakarta football team costume color, their carried their own bag in angkot and did the important journey. A tough rough journey which may change their quality of life in the jungle world.

The experience that made them sweaty, thirsty, some are cranky, but they made it. Alhamdulillah.... We had chance to scratch bit of color in this life experience. Dear mom and dad, look at their happy faces in the simple trip. They sight seeing in their curiosity, they still not changing much as you expect, but they had learn through this trip. They got the excitement as if you give them big present.

We worked hard, think hard only for made situation for them to learn. But we proud of it, we love it, all paid well when we saw their smile during the trip. Its nothing maybe, but for us its a simple happiness. Giving simple happiness is not need spot light in the middle of crowd or make us famous, but it stay deep down in the heart.

In the next ride, we steal another moment with them, to give another simple happiness. Start your simple happiness by giving chance to the special needs children to be accepted not to be an awkward person in the middle of society. Smile to them not to stare them.

Just like a professor said in her movie character
"I am Temple Grandin. I am autistic"
but the women who just met her at the shop who looking at her scared face of an automatic door, commented,
"Oooh, my son is artistic."

Communicate to them with your humanistic heart, not your only sight:))
-after my tough half day with super team, in our special school with special kids-

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Kembang Harapan

Bukan nama SD, bukan Taman Kanak Kanak apalagi panti sosial. Ini gemuruh rasa hati.... Alah. Bukan penyakit hati tapi kumpulan rasa di hati. Atas semua doa yang dipinta dan dipanjatkan oleh bibir dan hati secara khusyu dan kadang pilu, realita hari ini begitu membuat diri sangat berharap dan kian berkembang.

Keinginan yang lama diduga dan dipintal jadi cita cita rasanya akan jadi realita masa depan dalam waktu dekat. Sungguh luar biasa, cara ajaib yang tak pernah disukai, malah jadi perngantar menuju kerajaan realita. Kerajaan yang bukan penuh drama tapi dengan semangat dan tentu saja harapan. Kerajaan yang diisi kembang kebersyukuran, kembang pelajaran, kembang pengabdian dan kembang semangat untuk kerajaan kehidupan yang sementara.

Siapapun yang berharap sama seperti kembang ku, akan selalu menginginkan cerita bahagia, bukan hati nan pilu. Berkuasa dalam kerajaan hidup yang penuh rasa cita, tanpa ragu atau kecewa. Karena semua yang diidamkan dalam kerajaan hidup ini adalah apa yang dipikirkan dan didoakan setiap detik. Maka tak layak jika kerajaan tak dibentengi dengan cahaya surga juga pedoman langit: iman.

Satu hari ditemani pada realita indah, suka yang aneh, galau yang senantiasa dinanti. Waktu mendadak jadi abadi, ucapan menjadi berarti dari detik ke detik. Allah, jika inilah sebuah garis takdir, biarkan ia melintang dengan indah di atas kaki kaki yang berpijak pada kebimbangan. Biarkan hati menuai rasa alamiah nan indah. Biarkan buaian kebahagiaan membelai. Biarkan semangat ini tak luntur untuk melengkapkan setengah agama. Dia untuk ku dari Mu. Begitukah? Amin ya mujibassailin.

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Count Up

Each day the burden or tasks seems never stop. If you do feel you just want to be usual guy, relax, calm in your daily life, including work to the people surround you, you could. You could be just plain yogurt. Somehow, someway, Allah increase those people up to the highest level, for those who feel life is just more than being relax each day, " no problems at all "and stay in comfort zone.

From the very beginning of our lives we had start the competition. Full of struggle our dad's sperm tried to reach the mom's gold ovum.Its big competition with more than 1000 sperms which also struggle. Not only that the way is not that easy as you seen in the movie, many layers should the sperm trough along the way to reach the ovum. Again, its not need a relax calm usual situation. Its a work, hard work. Smart work and needs Allah's will in it. That's our basic assets in doing the life.

The moment stay in so plain usual time is easy to get. You can create just easy as easy you leave crying child that sudden whining out in the middle of  crowded place. But do you really want to leave crying child just like that? Don't you feel responsible  if your self get knowledge and power to make the child feel better? No, right, your heart won't let it happen. Your heart will choose any effort to make the crying stop, tough its hard situation or unplanned situation.

We just can't let any part of hard situation that killing or stressed. We only could to change the situation. Then count up what will happen the next. Never ask an easy life, because that's not what we live for. We may ask the strength to control life to be easier than less value life. If Allah will always give present in hard situation, why should we leave it? We can face it and never ask why me to had this difficult situation. Beneath under your concious you are a chosen hero to fight it.Just be patient.

when I feel down I know Allah won't let me down

Sunday, May 29, 2011

breaking the ice

I asked you
but you ignored
keep asked you
you asked another-or something
cried out loud
asked you again
cried out loud again

I was trying pushy
you kept crying pushy
I asked same thing
again, you pushed same thing
we went out to find the thing
 did the ice breaking
in quite room
you kept crying
I tried to understand
But ask you for a stand
beneath your sad crying

I did
by keep next to you
only touching you
you and I did it
we make connection
by sitting together
by touching together
in simple quite understanding
broke the ego
I am next to you, handsome

a tantrum moment with Ghani, which I couldn't break, but finally become so unique communicating way

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

1000 ways

You just can't do that. You know... whining in the corner of your room, smoking or even screaming at the night. Don't you even dare to think to jump in to the sea or sit in front of the road of highway. Oh no, no matter how hard you feel now,I know how you hard to breath, how you easily leave the fun of eating, or even craving to stay in loneliness, enjoy being neglected. Stop.

You deserve to be sad, you are blessed to be stressed, you are human when falling apart and cry out loud. Human does weak as if the problem will always be easy to be solved while sometimes the problem solving is part of the destroying. Human does forgetful as if happiness is forever episodes.Human will always complaining when feels uncomfortable, something less and lack of. It's human, but human can control all that barriers. How? Stand up after you fall, you got no choice. Try another problem solving after the failures. Create another hopes after a shocking therapy. 1 way to feel sad always, but 1000 ways to feel better ! Remember God see our ways and efforts not the result.

Go ahead, be a winner after the lose time. Don't be the forever loser and complainer. Be the" 1000 ways " to be happy or at least you die in happy thinking with some efforts. Never keep the weakness of human. Because you deserve to beat angel-which Allah already made very good and never had problem. But be the Human which always survive in every problems.

Friday, April 29, 2011

He's Just..

The right person in right place. That is the best conclusion for now. My effort in doing some plans needs to be delay. It's not about the plan. The plan is surely amazing and surprising. I am thinking about it everyday. But the decision still not come from me. Allah control all my plans in the end. No matter how perfect it is. Allah love me more if the situation its just different from what I want and plan to.

Simple thing, because I don't find the right person. Well OKAY, world still running, passion still waiting, the sun still there for a while. Its just a while situation. Nothing would last forever. Even when being lonesome warrior to get happy. It's because also he's just not.... the right person.

Just like a movie, the unplanned man will come and see who can finish my plan with happy ending forever. The guy who is in to me. Both of us we will find the way.

Heii its supposed to be sad story with some sentimental music score. Since I know... Allah loves me with his way, so just stand up and walk through when the "he's just not that in to you" scene comes in.

In the end, I will find my man:)) >_<

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sun of Faith

Everyday is sunshine. Yeah rainy day come, sure the storm pass by. But you know.... if sunny stay in your heart and mind, weather change is nothing, no matter how extreme. Sun, sunny as the strong power. What is your sun in your life. Mine is just simple word: faith. I am in love always, with the faith.

Once upon a day on my life scene, I was thinking differently. Then it brought me to the stage of numb mix with guilty feeling. Like a real drama, I find my faith. Up to now, this second... I get super mind set, goal and orientation. It is the Sun in my life.

Never finish to find your faith. But you must race with the time. Faith should be stronger, unlike time which always fade away. Never had, never seen a good harmony between faith and time. They just two different character. Pushing the faith harder, you go stronger. But pushing the time harder, you getting lose it.

Just keep the faith stronger. Faith about the creator. Then it will lead you to any power you never think before.

"I just enter my forever will, it hasn't perfect yet, but the faith about it always perfect! "
In line for a partner

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Advice Breakfast

I am enjoying reading Steve Harvey's book : Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady. I taught it was about business area,doh since I don't really familiar with Harvey. Anyway, its bunch of man point of view about relationship which a woman should learn. It really helpful haha hah. I know now why man think like this, why man like this. One of the point that I interest is how man will wait someone who worth enough to get. From that text, I feel, seem soul mate is something that accidentally happen but deep down it is planned.

Then on my swimming lesson today, in some break, my tutor, said some taught. In the end, when they old, husband and wife they will go separately. They lonely also. Really? Then she explained other... it is wrong when a woman marry a man only to get some money and never done any socialization anymore. A woman is also human who need actualize herself and contribute to society. Its a big mistake to make limitation to woman after the marriage. It is hardly accepted too since its not a sin to giving something useful to other. Woman and man in marriage also a lifetime partner that should have their own personal mission, they support each other.
And the tutor still talk, when you are single and you are in society based should marriage age, get some life, work hardly, and you wont get the stigma from the east society. In eats society, woman should marry fast, young. I am thinking, fast and young sounds instant. There are no process it self. The tutor keep saying, soul mate it should not be find, but should come by naturally. Not too worry about this matter she said...
Then my other friend shout : "Yeah! I am not alone.. " She told us in her office people keep referring her as single who look for husband, in the other hand-either left or right hand :p ,herself is just enjoy being single. NO worry !

Hmm soul mate will naturally come by but never stop to have a wish , I think that's the wisest taught. The Al Mighty will hear prayer and send the answer, now and later.

Ouch ... I think I will continue my swimming lesson since I get free life lecturer :p She guarantee she know more than I do about a free woman...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Simple Day, Big Blessed

Its just usual morning. Then came afternoon. Then the surprise begin. I just thinking about some relation and the connection with my future, but there is story of friend who shocked me. Her story much or less just like me. We both missing a partner in life. We both looking for the best. But we try to keep reality and logical thinking through this emotion episode. It seem Allah lead me to her. So I know her story and I can think and get the lesson how to defeat the emotion and nafs-lust trough the realism world.

We are woman often to be impulsive. Man are created in fragile feeling called love. Its always be blind no matter how the bright sunshine. I am typical person has A-Z plan in making some decision. I am also will imagine many preventive solution, tough the problem actually not happen at all. But just in case... Because many love stories landed in my ear which broken my heart as women. I just too many listening my friend's story about the love which never be the barakah love, even the marriage just so ruin until had to be ended.
I keep one thing in my mind across my heart. Faith. Have positive thinking to Allah. And everything will clear. As the fast answer from Allah after I ask something I can't decide anymore by myself.
If everything with Allah's will, take care the process in Allah's way, nothing will ever defeat the sweet being in good way. I tell her to keep her feet on ground, tough some parts of dreams seems so good to be true in her relation. Keep Allah's in her pray and way, in case anything bad happen.

If we involving Allah in every time of our life, every aspects of our mind, we just get the best blessed only. There's no lose or fault even misery if we do it .

Just a simple story, I got invitation, my heart scream with whom I should go to an event which I even had bike to ride on in the event, then Allah lead me to another friend. Some how, in sudden. One of the bless involving Allah in your life. Simple thing, but because I think its not small case, its big thing If I am not able to grateful for such easiness, I tend to forget the rest of Allah's gift.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

End Stream

They all gather in a room. They shares, the have hope for the generation. I had the access to be important piece from the big puzzle. But I feel terrible. I am gonna cry. Cry, its an option if there is chance for. I chasing after something for my life. My passion. My personal passion. I am gonna miss them all and their hope. I can not promise anything ... but I will do my obligation. The best as I could. Not about the job or money, for the sake of them. But if one day I should leave all, something that I enjoy, such this enjoyable, I don't know what to say.
One thing I could promise is.... I will do the best for all of you dear parents.

Maybe I will fight in other side. There is always end of something. Later I will accomplished my mission. To make the world view my point of view and everybody - the special every body could enjoy my works. Everybody, including you my special students.

End Stream is just a start. Happy ending novel that I made through Indonesia's publisher. Its my first step. My beginning. I am going to be serious for this. I am. Alhamdulillah Allah ArRahman, I meet my passion earlier. Blessed me in this choice, let me die while doing the passion.

Amin, ya mujibassailin.

It is your life, it is always your life, but people make your life as live.

Sunday, April 03, 2011

ApriLove , April Fool

Who said being human is easy?
You should know love. Then nurture it, grow with it, have loyal about it. Love is sometimes make human so unhuman. Make human to hurt, kill one another, each other to be able keep the love.

I found this case in Jakarta.
A man happily, was happy. He met finally meet his spouse through facebook, then they get married. But the man should feel suffer for his love. Somehow God turn the happy marriage into fact. The guy wife, beloved wife for 6 month is a Man. The un-gay guy married the man who is actually a transition gender street criminal. The guy now prison the ex wife with charge as fake gender crime. Love fool? Some times

Then I found another fact.
The online friend who became husband and wife. One is a Indonesian woman, who kindly help her online buddy on chat room. The woman never ever imagine she would done the long distance relation ship with the guy he meet online. The guy also a foreigner. Western meet eastern. In small cyber public place called chat room. Now, they have son and they live happily ever after. They even published their love story in local Jakarta Magazine. Not famous as previous case, but I see the same ideas. Loves fool. But this happy couple doing better preparation than just getting married.

It's fool love, you loose some mind, you drop somethings, you fantasize the smile and everything that beautiful. You just seem out of the world. You shouldn't to drunk when in love. Keep your self alive and alert. Pick the best guidance when you in love. For me, I pick the creator of love. God. He will lead to the real love tough we've been addict in love.

Happy April, Happy to be in Love

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Things sometimes, come to be our problem which is also be our way out. Solution I always see it clearly after all the confuse, mistakes and something makes me not simple. But as always, I ask to some my problem solver friends, include my dad.

Orait, means OK. Its come from Indonesia Slank, means alright. To have problem you must be ready to state this ORAIT. You accept things and refuse somethings, in the end, the best way is you have to say alright, okay means you have some consideration, which is will lead you to decision.
Its simple word, but it state that you agree, couple % understand, some % disagree.

Just follow the next clue in your problem, which you also can have after you feel alright. Take your time, ask to God what's the best. As long you still shows to God you are hard work to get the best decision, in other side you also be ready for the reality bites, everything gonna be ORAIT.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Writing March

Menulis itu adiktif. Sudah menelurkan satu karya maka akan ketagihan untuk berkarya lagi. Walaupun cuma amatiran. Dalam sebuah proyek baru aku menuliskan sebuah surat cinta. Hari gini? Surat cinta? Masya Allah, kelaut aja gimana? Lebih populer ke laut dari pada menulis surat cinta. Tapi kali ini, aku menulis untuk membuang sial. Haha merasa gagal di satu keesempatan, kurang pede di satu profesi, buang buang mimpi di surat cinta.

Entah apa yang merasuki saat kubuat surat cinta ini. Surat Untuk Jodohku. Judulnya maut cuy... dangdut juga nggak, tapi menarik. Hahahay... being twenty something and you are single it's painful for reality surround. Sometimes. I enjoy my life. But I eager to achieve something too. Including this heart beat faith thing. And... akhirnya tertulis lah surat untuk kekasih abadi itu. Indahnya, satu jam kurang surat itu selesai. Surat yang dibuat oleh seorang single available whahahha-ini iklan dot com.

Kupanggil dia Senor. Bukan namanya Seno, bukan juga dimulai dengan huruf S. Kebetulan jodohnya lagi didalam perjalanan, untuk menjemput jodohnya yang menulis blog ini tentu saja. Bwahahhaaa

Eniwei... Its fun to write. Menulis itu skali amat seru. Seperti mengeluarkan kalimat kalimat isi hati atau sekedar curahan hati orang. Sudahkah aku menulis? Sudahkah aku menggagas novel atau story book? Pertanyaan itu mengomporiku setiap hari. Bahkan juga menjauhkanku dari realita terkadang. Ini sudah dimulai. Gerilya perang nafsu untuk menulis dan malas menulis sudah dimulai.

Sejak 1994 sudah memimpikan Agatha Christie, sejak 1988 sudah membaca buku cerita bergambar, sejak 1992, sudah menikmati suspense dan drama. Untuk apa menunggu diri ini menua lagi? Sudah waktunya berpassion, bukan hanya berkarir. Berjuang untuk sepuluh tahun mendatang yang saya canangkan sebagai tahun belajar menulis----sungguh I am so procrastinator! Sepuluh tahun jadi kegemilangan. Suka dan senang dalam sepuluh tahun mendatang siap dinikmati. Demi sebuah kata dan profesi idaman yang berkata dasar sama. Tulis!

Menulislah sebelum Anda ditulis oleh malaikat--looo??
Pak Hernowo yang penuulis dan pembaca ulung juga memiliki ketajaman misi. Mengikat Makna. Ikatlah makna diri Anda.... dalam tulisan. Karena tulisan adalah bahasa berekspresi, bahasa jiwa dan kejujuran terhadap diri. Indah kan? Mari semua menulis setidaknya kembangkan pikiran bukan cuma jadi status fesbuk atau twitter sajah!

Lets marchin in March!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Friday Freak

useless, pain, criticism, spy,traitor,unstable label,untrustworthy, justification, denial,
Freak Friday break me down and melt
through the J town traffic
against the dusty mist and facts
cry over
sop by just to cry
judgement, tired, sadness