He's Just..

The right person in right place. That is the best conclusion for now. My effort in doing some plans needs to be delay. It's not about the plan. The plan is surely amazing and surprising. I am thinking about it everyday. But the decision still not come from me. Allah control all my plans in the end. No matter how perfect it is. Allah love me more if the situation its just different from what I want and plan to.

Simple thing, because I don't find the right person. Well OKAY, world still running, passion still waiting, the sun still there for a while. Its just a while situation. Nothing would last forever. Even when being lonesome warrior to get happy. It's because also he's just not.... the right person.

Just like a movie, the unplanned man will come and see who can finish my plan with happy ending forever. The guy who is in to me. Both of us we will find the way.

Heii its supposed to be sad story with some sentimental music score. Since I know... Allah loves me with his way, so just stand up and walk through when the "he's just not that in to you" scene comes in.

In the end, I will find my man:)) >_<

Sun of Faith

Everyday is sunshine. Yeah rainy day come, sure the storm pass by. But you know.... if sunny stay in your heart and mind, weather change is nothing, no matter how extreme. Sun, sunny as the strong power. What is your sun in your life. Mine is just simple word: faith. I am in love always, with the faith.

Once upon a day on my life scene, I was thinking differently. Then it brought me to the stage of numb mix with guilty feeling. Like a real drama, I find my faith. Up to now, this second... I get super mind set, goal and orientation. It is the Sun in my life.

Never finish to find your faith. But you must race with the time. Faith should be stronger, unlike time which always fade away. Never had, never seen a good harmony between faith and time. They just two different character. Pushing the faith harder, you go stronger. But pushing the time harder, you getting lose it.

Just keep the faith stronger. Faith about the creator. Then it will lead you to any power you never think before.

"I just enter my forever will, it hasn't perfect yet, but the faith about it always perfect! "
In line for a partner

Advice Breakfast

I am enjoying reading Steve Harvey's book : Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady. I taught it was about business area,doh since I don't really familiar with Harvey. Anyway, its bunch of man point of view about relationship which a woman should learn. It really helpful haha hah. I know now why man think like this, why man like this. One of the point that I interest is how man will wait someone who worth enough to get. From that text, I feel, seem soul mate is something that accidentally happen but deep down it is planned.

Then on my swimming lesson today, in some break, my tutor, said some taught. In the end, when they old, husband and wife they will go separately. They lonely also. Really? Then she explained other... it is wrong when a woman marry a man only to get some money and never done any socialization anymore. A woman is also human who need actualize herself and contribute to society. Its a big mistake to make limitation to woman after the marriage. It is hardly accepted too since its not a sin to giving something useful to other. Woman and man in marriage also a lifetime partner that should have their own personal mission, they support each other.
And the tutor still talk, when you are single and you are in society based should marriage age, get some life, work hardly, and you wont get the stigma from the east society. In eats society, woman should marry fast, young. I am thinking, fast and young sounds instant. There are no process it self. The tutor keep saying, soul mate it should not be find, but should come by naturally. Not too worry about this matter she said...
Then my other friend shout : "Yeah! I am not alone.. " She told us in her office people keep referring her as single who look for husband, in the other hand-either left or right hand :p ,herself is just enjoy being single. NO worry !

Hmm soul mate will naturally come by but never stop to have a wish , I think that's the wisest taught. The Al Mighty will hear prayer and send the answer, now and later.

Ouch ... I think I will continue my swimming lesson since I get free life lecturer :p She guarantee she know more than I do about a free woman...

Simple Day, Big Blessed

Its just usual morning. Then came afternoon. Then the surprise begin. I just thinking about some relation and the connection with my future, but there is story of friend who shocked me. Her story much or less just like me. We both missing a partner in life. We both looking for the best. But we try to keep reality and logical thinking through this emotion episode. It seem Allah lead me to her. So I know her story and I can think and get the lesson how to defeat the emotion and nafs-lust trough the realism world.

We are woman often to be impulsive. Man are created in fragile feeling called love. Its always be blind no matter how the bright sunshine. I am typical person has A-Z plan in making some decision. I am also will imagine many preventive solution, tough the problem actually not happen at all. But just in case... Because many love stories landed in my ear which broken my heart as women. I just too many listening my friend's story about the love which never be the barakah love, even the marriage just so ruin until had to be ended.
I keep one thing in my mind across my heart. Faith. Have positive thinking to Allah. And everything will clear. As the fast answer from Allah after I ask something I can't decide anymore by myself.
If everything with Allah's will, take care the process in Allah's way, nothing will ever defeat the sweet being in good way. I tell her to keep her feet on ground, tough some parts of dreams seems so good to be true in her relation. Keep Allah's in her pray and way, in case anything bad happen.

If we involving Allah in every time of our life, every aspects of our mind, we just get the best blessed only. There's no lose or fault even misery if we do it .

Just a simple story, I got invitation, my heart scream with whom I should go to an event which I even had bike to ride on in the event, then Allah lead me to another friend. Some how, in sudden. One of the bless involving Allah in your life. Simple thing, but because I think its not small case, its big thing If I am not able to grateful for such easiness, I tend to forget the rest of Allah's gift.

End Stream

They all gather in a room. They shares, the have hope for the generation. I had the access to be important piece from the big puzzle. But I feel terrible. I am gonna cry. Cry, its an option if there is chance for. I chasing after something for my life. My passion. My personal passion. I am gonna miss them all and their hope. I can not promise anything ... but I will do my obligation. The best as I could. Not about the job or money, for the sake of them. But if one day I should leave all, something that I enjoy, such this enjoyable, I don't know what to say.
One thing I could promise is.... I will do the best for all of you dear parents.

Maybe I will fight in other side. There is always end of something. Later I will accomplished my mission. To make the world view my point of view and everybody - the special every body could enjoy my works. Everybody, including you my special students.

End Stream is just a start. Happy ending novel that I made through Indonesia's publisher. Its my first step. My beginning. I am going to be serious for this. I am. Alhamdulillah Allah ArRahman, I meet my passion earlier. Blessed me in this choice, let me die while doing the passion.

Amin, ya mujibassailin.


It is your life, it is always your life, but people make your life as live.
-Lanee-

ApriLove , April Fool

Who said being human is easy?

You should know love. Then nurture it, grow with it, have loyal about it. Love is sometimes make human so unhuman. Make human to hurt, kill one another, each other to be able keep the love.

I found this case in Jakarta.

A man happily, was happy. He met finally meet his spouse through facebook, then they get married. But the man should feel suffer for his love. Somehow God turn the happy marriage into fact. The guy wife, beloved wife for 6 month is a Man. The un-gay guy married the man who is actually a transition gender street criminal. The guy now prison the ex wife with charge as fake gender crime. Love fool? Some times

Then I found another fact.

The online friend who became husband and wife. One is a Indonesian woman, who kindly help her online buddy on chat room. The woman never ever imagine she would done the long distance relation ship with the guy he meet online. The guy also a foreigner. Western meet eastern. In small cyber public place called chat room. Now, they have son and they live happily ever after. They even published their love story in local Jakarta Magazine. Not famous as previous case, but I see the same ideas. Loves fool. But this happy couple doing better preparation than just getting married.

It's fool love, you loose some mind, you drop somethings, you fantasize the smile and everything that beautiful. You just seem out of the world. You shouldn't to drunk when in love. Keep your self alive and alert. Pick the best guidance when you in love. For me, I pick the creator of love. God. He will lead to the real love tough we've been addict in love.

Happy April, Happy to be in Love